dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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