Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
