so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize