we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need to align my fucking chakras
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
