i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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