My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
