She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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