with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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