our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize