just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
