She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
