I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
