I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
