Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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