And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
