i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
