everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize