And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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