he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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