it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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