i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
