I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
