Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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