i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Drake has all the answers
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
