But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
