I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
