Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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