Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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