Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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