Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
