Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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