I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize