when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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