She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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