4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
