when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
