I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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