Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
