Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
