I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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