Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
