my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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