There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I die, sorry about rent.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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