Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
