I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sober January is a disaster.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize