why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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