you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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