tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
