just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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