I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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