Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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