hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
