hotel room ftw
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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