I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize