Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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