yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
